You're so nebulous sometimes
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
