I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
