I must be too annoying 4 u.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
