it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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