I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
