Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
