I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
