Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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