Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
