I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
