Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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