What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
