I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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