just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
