Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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