So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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