if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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