i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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