why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
