he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
