i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
