didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
