Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
