You work out of a Hotel?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize