Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
