We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
