She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
