things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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