When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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