my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
