Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The air was thick with penises
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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