Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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