she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
