chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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