Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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