The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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