Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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