i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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