I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
