Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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