I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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