"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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