I'm lost and stupid without you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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