And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
