Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
