i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
