Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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