this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
