best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
