the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You're like the curious george of whores
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
