I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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