I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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