Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize