Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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