The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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