Your tits are I can't wait for
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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