I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
