come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
