when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
