Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
